Toys
by Brandywine421
Summary: Ryan spends some time with Captain Oats.


**_Disclaimer:  I don't own anything OC related.  _**

**Toys**

Ryan never had a lot of toys as a kid.  Most of them were handed down to him from Trey's collection which meant they were broken.  Hot Wheels without wheels.  GI Joes with nubs where their kung

fu grip should have been.  Teddy bears with tiny threads where their eyes should have been.  He never really got into playing with toys.  He always had more important things to do.  Take out the trash.  Pick up the food Dawn had thrown on the floor when she'd gotten upset.  Walk to the store and steal a loaf of bread so they could have toast. 

So Ryan never really understood the connection that Seth had with the plastic horse.  Captain Oats.  The toy even had a name.  Ryan had never named anything.  Even the kitten that Trey had let him keep didn't have a name.  He called it kitten and his mother hadn't even known he had it until she crushed it with the car on her way to the check cashing place two days after he'd tamed her.  But this plastic inanimate object was important enough to Seth to be named.  Captain Oats.

Ryan liked to think that Seth had staged tiny horse wars on the landscape of his floor.  And Captain Oats was on the front lines.  Maybe he'd started out as a private and been promoted through his valiant service.  Maybe Captain Oats had saved a couple of his troops and they respected him. 

There was also the possibility that Captain Oats wasn't military.  He could have been the captain of a ship.  A miniature pirate ship consisting of horses that were dedicated to raiding unsuspecting ships of booty for their own profit.  Seth would have liked that.  Just because he could say 'booty'.

Ryan knew that the Captain had lived a hard life, though.  He could see the pain behind the horse's tiny painted eyes.  The Captain missed Seth, too.  Seth had been everything to the Captain.  He'd kept him alive. 

Ryan knew that he was just a toy. 

But he couldn't abandon him just because of that little detail.  Captain Oats needed a friend, too. 

When he'd come home from Chino, Kirsten and Sandy had been remodeling the poolhouse and he'd been sent to the guest room.  He'd wandered into Seth's room and spotted the tiny horse immediately. 

He couldn't believe that Seth had left him behind.  Just like Ryan had left Seth behind. 

So he'd started talking to Captain Oats. 

He hadn't really talked to anyone else.  Sandy and Kirsten had tried to find out what had happened, but he just couldn't talk to them.  And with Captain Oats, he didn't have to talk if he didn't want to.  The Captain could read minds.  He didn't need words. 

Captain Oats was a better listener than anyone he'd ever met.  He wasn't judgmental, he didn't care about Ryan's past or future, he just listened patiently.  Ryan missed Seth's babble but the Captain's silence was just what he needed right now. 

So he found himself sitting on Seth's bed again with the Captain settled on his lap.  He never took the Captain out of Seth's room, it just seemed right for him to visit the Captain in his own environment.  The room wasn't Seth's anymore, it belonged to the Captain while he was gone. 

_Do you think he's going to come back soon?_

The Captain didn't know. 

_You know him best._

The Captain did know him best.  The Captain had spent more time with Seth than anyone.  Seth had told him countless secrets and confidences.  But the Captain wouldn't tell.  The Captain wouldn't talk to Ryan about Seth.  It wouldn't be fair. 

_If he doesn't come back soon, I don't think I can stay here._

The Captain seemed to understand.  He didn't want to stay either without Seth.  But he would wait.  Captain Oats would wait forever for Seth.  But Captain Oats was a member of the family.

And Ryan was just pretending now. 

Sure, the Cohens were great, they'd given him more than he could ever repay but without Seth, he was just a stand in.  He was just a reminder of what had taken their son from them.

So a few times a day, Ryan would come and keep Captain Oats company.  He tried to listen to Captain Oats, but the horse wouldn't talk to him.  The Captain was just humoring him, too, just like the Cohens.  The Captain belonged to Seth and he'd never be Ryan's.  He'd listen to Ryan because it's what Seth would want him to do.  But the Captain just wanted Seth back.  Ryan and the Captain had that in common. 

He knew that the Cohens were worried about him.  He'd gone downstairs for breakfast a couple of days ago and Kirsten had notified him that he hadn't spoken in two days.  He hadn't even realized it.  He knew that they watched him go into Seth's room and close the door but they hadn't asked him about it. 

How could he explain to them about his relationship with Captain Oats?  How could they understand that the only person he could talk to was an inanimate object? 

He'd considered taking Captain Oats out of the room and putting him on the small desk in the guest room.  That way, it wouldn't be as noticeable when he needed to talk to him. 

But he knew that the first place Seth would go when he got back was to his room so he could tell the Captain all about his grand adventures. 

No matter what happened, the Captain would always be Seth's best friend.  Not Ryan.  Ryan may have been the reason that Seth left but the Captain would bring him home. 

The Captain had always been there for Seth.  The Captain would always be Seth's silent supporter.  He gave Seth unconditional love and loyalty.  The Captain would have never gotten a girl pregnant, moved away and then come crawling back when the girl left him.  The Captain would have made better decisions.  The Captain would never have driven the mother of his child away. 

_It's not yours, Ryan, and I can't make you take responsibility for my mistake.  I'm leaving.  I'm sorry._

The Captain would have found a way to make the girl stay.  The Captain knew that biology doesn't make a father, the Captain knew better.  The Captain would have been able to love the child anyway.  But Ryan had lost his chance.  Ryan wasn't as good as the Captain. 

Ryan liked to think of the Captain being free.  Not that the Captain was a captive, but he was definitely domesticated.  Ryan liked to think about the Captain running in a field of grass with no fences.  The Captain's mane would be flowing in the breeze and he would be surrounded by mares or whatever they called female horses.  He'd be free and happy and safe.  He'd take care of his ladies and he'd have foals sticking close to his side because they knew that their father would always take care of them. 

Ryan closed his eyes a lot and pictured the Captain trotting through the field.  He wondered if Seth had ever pictured the Captain like that. 

But Ryan knew that Seth would have pictured the Captain in much more exciting locations.  That's why the Captain would always love Seth. 

Seth would have pictured the Captain on the moon with a round bubble over his head, nibbling from moon rocks and saving the Earth from the monsters lurking in the craters.

Seth would have pictured the Captain at sea, turning a giant steering wheel and steering the ship toward the enemies and loading the cannonballs and packing the gunpowder to save the damsel that was trapped on the pirates' ship. 

Seth would have pictured the Captain down the rabbit hole, having tea with the bunny and the mad hatter and chasing the queen of hearts away from the fragile Alice. 

Seth would never picture the Captain in such a dull place like a field, that just wasn't his way. 

Ryan would only let himself talk to the Captain for a few minutes at a time.  More than that, and he'd be imposing.  The Captain was only humoring him until Seth came back. 

Ryan knew that he'd never see the Captain once Seth came back.  He wouldn't let himself. 

Because Ryan had always wanted a friend like Captain Oats. 

_I don't think I can stay here if he doesn't come back soon.  _

The Captain didn't reply.  But Ryan knew he'd heard him. 

So he packed his bags again, keeping them in the empty guest room closet.  He only took what he'd brought from Chino.  All his money was gone but he didn't need money.  Not where he was going.  His destination didn't require money, it only required leaving.  And that's something he knew that he could do.  It was something the Captain couldn't do, but he could.  He could leave.  He could give Seth's family back, he could give the Captain back.  Ryan had thought that when he left, it made Seth have to leave too.  That's why he'd come back.  Since he'd come back, he thought that Seth would come back, too.  But it didn't work. 

The Captain didn't come right out and say it, but he knew that he thought it was a stupid idea.  Like Seth could sense when he came back.  Seth wasn't psychic, Seth wasn't the Captain.  Seth didn't know how much Ryan needed him.  How much Ryan would give just to hear his voice. 

And Ryan knew that Captain Oats would take care of Seth.  Captain Oats was a much better friend to Seth than Ryan had ever been.  Captain Oats didn't make him leave.  The Captain would never had made Seth leave.  Seth would never be abandoned by the Captain. 

Ryan couldn't say goodbye to the Cohens.  But he could say goodbye to Captain Oats.  Captain Oats would understand. 

He walked into Seth's room and was startled to see Seth sitting on the bed.  It was only right that the Captain was sitting on his lap.  The Captain didn't even look his way. 

"He really missed you," Ryan said.  And Seth started to cry. 

Ryan closed the door and went to the guest room to get his bags.  Captain Oats would take care of Seth.  He always had before.  Seth didn't need him and now that he was back, Ryan didn't have the Captain anymore. 


End file.
